Make Your Own Dinosaur Out of Chicken Bones:
Foolproof Instructions For Budding Palentologists

I know, I know. You want to eat more chicken, but you just feel so bad about throwing away all those wonderful bones. I myself feel very bad about wasting such useful items. I remember how my old Haitian voodoo grandmama would use them to put curses on people. After I accidentally ran over her favorite cat I didn’t get to see her again. Luckily I found a new job here, and most of my hair has grown back.

My old uncle Wilt used to shake them all up in a bag and toss them over his divining board to see if it was a good day to plant, if he should buy a lottery ticket, or if aunt Martha was going to die. When Martha passed away he started traveling with his lottery money and I haven’t see him since. So I’m stuck with either a guilty conscious, or a bag full of useless chicken bones? (Note the question mark.)

Not any more! Have I got the book for me (and you)! Make Your Own Dinosaur Out of Chicken Bones: Foolproof Instructions for Budding Paleontologists by Chris McGowan. First you need all the bones from three whole chickens. You want young ones. For you vegetarians, or the more faint of heart, watch for road kills. Not the flat splattered ones, get some that still have some fluff to them. If you’re made of stronger stuff I suggest you look for chickens on the other side.

After you have your chicken bones you’ll need just 41 other items. Most of which you have just run out of at home, so take a trip to the store. This is not an impossible mission, it can be done. You’ll learn a lot about anatomy, dinosaurs, and maybe some new curse words you didn’t know you knew. Have fun!

McGowan, C. 1997. Make your own dinosaur out of chicken bones: foolproof instructions for budding palentologists. Harper Perennial, New York. 144pp. ISBN 0-06-095226-1