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An Open Letter to Newtonists

The only way we can progress as a people is if we finally stop propagating blatant lies. Here’s one for you: Gravity. Yes, gravity. "Oh, gravity is real," lots of people proclaim. So then I ask, "Have you seen gravity?" They always say "Yes, I’ve seen gravity!" "What color is it?" That always shuts them up. If gravity exists, then what does it look like, smell like, taste like, feel like, sound like? If I give you a container could you put some gravity in it for me? Like promised artifacts from alien spacecrafts no one has ever been able to produce some gravity for me to have a look at.

Then someone gets the bright idea to drop a pencil. They point, and shout and hop on their toes and say, "Look, look, that was gravity!" I ask them to do it again and they drop it again and I still don’t see anything. No gravity. I measure the pencil, then I mass it, take its temperature, photograph it, etc. before and after they drop it and still I can’t find any difference in the pencil. That it fell down, they tell me, is evidence of gravity.

Ah, that it fell down. So that’s gravity, falling down, toward the Earth? Yes, they proclaim, vindicated. But what of insects, birds, airplanes, even balloons? The smile fades. Must we now make special cases for these devices which obviously disprove any notion of gravity. If an object going down toward the center of the Earth is "gravity", then does a sparrow possess some sort of anti-gravity? People try to tell me about "lift" which I have never seen. This amazing invisible thing is "created" above the wings of a bird and airplane, they claim. Could you bring me a photograph of "lift"? I point out that balloons have no wings. Now they spin more yarns. "Buoyancy," they claim and something called air pressure. Put your hand out, feel anything pressing down on it? I certainly haven’t.

There is no such thing as gravity, sorry to say. I have closed my mind to the subject and there is no way you can convince me otherwise.

 

 

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