Mike's Dirty Joke Page 3
Candy Story
It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr.
Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and
Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "hey Sweetheart, how'd you
like to Krunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" Well, she immediately went
down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like Pure Almond Joy! I couldn't help but grab her
delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was
all I could do to hold the Snicker and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little
Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!"
Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut
and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a
taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, "hey
Chicklet, no kinky stuff." I said "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a
Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O'
Honey?" (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!)
She screamed, "Oh Crackerjack, better
than the Three Musketeers!" as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her
Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden...my
Starburst! Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a
Wrigley in her stomach. Sure enough, nine months later, out popped...........Baby Ruth!